Relationship Fact: There Are No Leagues

24 OCT 2014 – Blog Music by William Pate on Grooveshark

I’ve elsewhere and earlier noted the lack of a ban on bestiality in Texas and the empirically proven benefits of sleeping with friends. But if there’s one thing I want people to truly understand about dating, it’s this: There are no such things as “leagues.” That girl or guy you’re interested in? There’s no “league” — no artificial barrier — preventing you from talking to — or even befriending and/or dating and/or marrying — him or her.

This is especially important for those dorky high school boys — the ones like me — who are ugly and cute at the same time. (I assume girls have this same problem.)

This notion of “leagues” is total and utter bullshit. I’m just telling you — as a 34-year old man who suffered a near-dateless high school experience and made up for it with drunken shenanigans later — that no one is “out of your league.” You can never rule yourself out, especially when it comes to dealing with another person, because you never know what they’re looking for in a friend or mate. It may be you.

Plus, everyone is screwed up in their own special way. You don’t know what’s going on (if anything) with the beauty in the corner until you’ve actually spoken with her.

Seriously. Going up to a girl and saying, “Hi, my name is . . .” Simple, huh? Worst that can happen? She says no thanks. You’re thinking, “Or worse — she makes a scene.” So what? That’s not on you (unless you were doing something untoward — which you wouldn’t be). And that isn’t going to happen anyway. It’s just an excuse to get out of talking to the girl or guy of your current dreams.

Remember this the next time you’re at your most pissy and standing around with your friends watching couples walk by and you say, “How the hell did that fat fuck get that hot chick?”

He talked to her.

He may have had a couple of drinks for liquid courage, but he spoke to her. Plenty of prettiest-girls-in-school out there with no dates to prom because everyone assumed they already had one.

All that said, be even more careful who you consider “below” you.

If this rings untrue or not applicable because of your current situation (in high school, especially), it does get better. Push through. Keep trying.

There are no leagues. There is, “Hello.” Just enough confidence for “hello.”

This is the same advice I give my little brother. So I’m serious.

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