Well, what a day. Just for the record, I start my days now that we’ve moved an hour away from my school at five o’clock in the morning. I get up with the alarm, eat, shower, and all that, and leave the house by six. Then we arrive in Killeen at seven. I drop my mom off at the school she works at and then wait an hour before going to school myself since my school doesn’t start until around eight thirty. It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing, I tell you. I can’t believe the amount of traffic at six in the morning, though. That’s really surprising to me. But it’s pretty cool, sure I get tired, but it gives me a lot of time to listen to the radio in the car (which I absolutely love doing) and an hour before and after school where I can talk to my mom. It’s not too bad, and only for another what twelve? eleven and a half? days and then I graduate (hopefully). It’s really sad that I’m still worried about graduating this close to the end. I shouldn’t, I guess. I mean, I have straight A’s… how can they fail me? I don’t see any way. But still I worry. And that’s what this entry is all about.
In first period math today we had a class discussion about what truly scares each of us. It was mostly echoed by the thugs that they’re afraid of death. Woo-hoo. What an original fear. Let me tell you. I don’t fear death. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to die. But I don’t fear the reaper. People die everyday and sooner or later I will be one of them. I’m hoping for later, but we don’t exactly get to choose dates. Other fears mentioned were asking a girl out and fear of heights and on and on. It made me think. What am I truly afraid of?
The thing (if it can be called a thing) I am most afraid of is everything which I cannot control. Now, I’m not a control freak. Or, when it comes to my life and future, maybe I am. Maybe we all are. But I am deathly afraid of putting matters dear to me in other people’s hands. I hate traffic. Not because I’m afraid I’ll screw up, but because I’m afraid of all the other idiots with motor vehicles. I hate school because, although I have control over how well I do on my schoolwork, I do not have control over the entire grade I receive. If I did, I would make straight A’s and have already graduated. Now, that’s an extreme example, but I am certain that, had I (and many others like me) been given the right environment and teachers, we could have excelled beyond all expectations. But that’s a utopian dream, isn’t it?
I know this entry is really quite unorganized, I’m just trying to get used to writing my thoughts here again. Please excuse the mess.
One last thing I wanted to say is a quote I thought up in English today… The greatest barrier to a great mind is indecision.