You know I don’t like the way I am
You know I don’t like the way I am
I’m going to change the way I am
Other Stuff

November 13, 1998
Friday the 13th, baby. You know it. After having Wednesday off, I kept thinking today was only Tuesday. Thank goodness it’s Friday, though. Whew. Gonna be a good weekend, too. Tomorrow I’m going to spend all day in Austin at the Texas Book Festival. I can’t think of a better place to spend my weekend than surrounded by books and the people who write them. Kinky Friedman, Frank McCourt and on and on… great authors. Y’all come on out and join us if ya get the hankerin’.

I learned something important this week. Never change yourself for a girl. Don’t inhibit your own growth just because of some girl that you have no chance with in the first place. Just don’t do it. It didn’t work for me, it won’t work for you. Okay, maybe it will work for you, but don’t spend too much time trying to perfect it just to make me look bad.

I tried to change. I wanted to stop being so sarcastic and mean to everyone. But, you know, I noticed something. That’s me. I’m supposed to be sarcastic and mean and critical. It’s expected of me. If I were to stop pointing out everyone elses’ mistakes now, what would happen? The whole world would go to pot, that’s what. And we don’t want that. No, we don’t. I can’t just let that happen, can I? No. I must use this power for good. And if doing good entails having to be evil to some people then so be it. I take the responsibility. The end justifies the means. Remember Machiavelli? I do. I read all of The Prince . Why? Because I thought I was cool. I still do. And I still read all that weird stuff. I read (some of) Plato’s Republic a few weeks ago. Why? Because I’m cool like that. Some people think reading things like that is totally geeky and/or nerdy. Just like some people think classical music is only for nerds. Just like other people think surfing the Web is only for geeks. No way. These are all cool things to do. If you smoke pot do I call you a pothead? Okay, you’ve got a point there — I do. But if you only smoke it once, do I? No, of course not. I probably wouldn’t call you a pothead if you smoked it all the time either. I’d most likely call you an idiot. Granted, I know some very smart people who smoke the herb all the time. But guess what, I only know they are smart because I knew them before they took up toking regularly and everything that comes along with it. You know, the munchies, the falling asleep in class and drooling all over your desk, the failure of the optic nerve to report that the light has changed from red to green. You know what I’m talking about. I know you do.

It’s funny, girls have been telling me I look like other people a lot this week. A listing of the current people I’ve been told I look like:

Mr. Bean
Steve Buscemi
Woody (the guy from Toy Story)

There’s one more (at least), but I can’t remember him right now. Oh well. You lose. Game over.

In the year of the scavenger, season of the bitch
Sashay on the board-walk, scurry to the ditch
Just another future song, lonely little Keats
There’s gonna be sorrow, try and wake up tomorrow

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