Bell Bottom Blues

I don’t want to fade away.
Give me one more day, please.

Other Stuff
October 6, 1998
Wow… so much has happened in the last two days… okay, well, not really. And what has happened isn’t really very insightful, but it happened and I’ll recount it to you for better or worse.

Well, a nice storm blew up last night bringing with it much colder air. Considering yesterday it was ninety degrees and today it was sixty… really pissed me off, though. And my damn alarm clock keeps not going off in the morning so this morning was the second in a row that I’ve gotten up an hour later than usual. Fortunately I have that whole time buffer thing going on. I’ve given myself something like an hour time-cushion. Beautiful. Unplanned, but beautiful.

Angie broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. Well, I found out about it yesterday, but he broke up with her over the weekend. I knew I should have put money on that relationship. Dammit. I’ve been losing money so much on these little relationship time limit bets I’ve been making that I refrained from putting any money on Angie’s. Anyway, apparently Tony, her now-ex, needs time to get his shit together and that means no girlfriend. Yeah, he needs time to get his shit together alright. He needs to cut his damn grass, get a job, get a car, and, you know, maybe one day get his own place. I was sure getting tired of spending more money on his girlfriend than he was. Now I spend money on her and… dammit, now I don’t have anything to really bitch about. Except that she’s sworn off guys for a year. Yeah, right. Whatever. What the hell does it matter to me, anyway? I’ll be out of here in a month, and out of school in December. Now that’s beauty.

Let me take this opportunity to apologize for the profanity in this entry. I’m sorry.

So I’m actually getting some pretty good mail now. Jackie, Laurie and Steph have sent me good mail. And long equals good, just so you know. But only long letters are good… long poems, usually, no. Long stories posted on bulletin boards and expecting a response, no. But personal letters addressed to me, the longer the better.

I think I’m going to write some snail mail to Internet friends sometime tonight or tomorrow. I owe Ash a real letter. And I’ll send Jackie one just to add to her anthropologic collection or whatever she’s growing in the corner of her room in Cali Cali. Making a mix tape came to mind today as I drove home to pick up my jacket… I told you it was cold… see, this all mixes in. I get up late because of the damn alarm clock, so I don’t know what the weather is really like until I hit the parking lot at school… so, I was listening to the radio on the way home for lunch and to pick up my jacket and, I don’t remember the song that was playing, but I started thinking about making a mix tape. Haven’t done that in a while. But, unfortunately, I’m poor and can’t send it to anyone… so I’ll just wait until I’m forty and in better financial standing to make one and send it to all my faraway music-loving friends. By the way, Maria, I heard the Cure on the radio today… those good college town radio stations, I’ll tell ya.

Yeah, so what, this entry isn’t exactly all that insightful and I left out some of the few good insights I gained… well, let me relate one to you… We’re watching Polanski’s version of Macbeth in English and the quotation where Macbeth says that it doesn’t matter whether he continues on his current path of evil or if he turns back and stops murdering everybody now either way it’s going to hurt him about the same. Anyway, Angie explained the quote to the class and the teacher asked, “Can he still go back?” And Angie said, “No. You can’t change the past.” And I could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn’t get it. It’s not in whether or not you can change the past it’s whether or not you’ll change the future. Your future, another’s future, whatever. The past is set in stone, the future slowly drying. You gonna lift your feet out of the drying concrete and move on or are you going to let yourself get stuck in it for all eternity? Up to you.

Candy came from out on the island
In the back room she was everybody’s darlin’
But she never lost her head
Even when she was givin’ head
She says hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
She says hey honey, take a walk on the wild side

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