March 3, 1998

Thank you, Judge. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have set out to prove that Miss Oprah Winfrey’s comments are damaging, not to the cattle industry, but to the United States of America. I’m not talking about her comments against eating beef, I’m talking about her comments after the trial in which she said:

“Is Texas the most Southern of Southern States?”

Now, lets think, what does she mean by that comment? She is obviously aiming to insult Texas, but what kind of insult is it to call Texas southern or most southern? Does she have something against the South? Maybe she has something against all Southerners. Does she believe that the South isn’t worth as much as her beloved Chicago or any other region of the United States?

I submit these next pieces of evidence as proof that Miss Winfrey’s comments are unfounded and moronic.

From which city have some of the best bands been hailing from lately?
Gainesville, Florida. Southern? Yes.

What city is second only to Silicon Valley in the high-tech industry (computers, chips, etc.)? Austin, Texas (Affectionately called the Silicon Hills by Texans). Southern? Yes, farther south than even Amarillo.

What state boasts having bred more writers than any other? Mississippi. Southern? Quite.

What city is the most computer literate in America? Austin, Texas.

What is the largest, in population, public college campus in the Nation? University of Texas at Austin.

What city boasts the most bookstores, cafes, and live music venues? Austin, Texas.

What city is the Live Music Capital of the World? Austin, Texas; with more live music venues than any other city.

I could go on and on, I could talk about the largest man-made beach, America’s football team, Ted Turner’s baseball team, and so much more, but I think I have shown that the South is just as important as any other region of the United States and that Miss Winfrey has once again shown her inability to keep her mouth shut about things she knows nothing of.

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