Ugh.

If someone were to diagnose me with a current bout of depression, I think I’d have to agree. I know I’m susceptible, but I rarely say I am depressed. If I am, it doesn’t affect my normal functioning, but I have noticed clear changes.

My sleep has been completely out of whack for a few weeks now. I get up at two or four in the morning to let the dogs out (or just because I wake up), and then sleep a bunch of hours or nap off and on during the day between submitting applications; boredom with reading; a persistent struggle to get myself to write. It’s like being stir-crazy, the anxiety, but, then, I go out and quickly become dissatisfied with sitting at a coffeeshop or, really, doing most anything.

I obviously don’t know why I’m depressed — that would make it sadness or something, and not depression. I’m guessing it’s the job search that once again has me down. I search and search without expectation any more. Even the positions I am perfect for slip away. There are definitely times I doubt a different candidate could be as truly qualified as I am for a position — yet I get nada beyond, at best, a second interview (which is better than it has been during the Recession). So, apparently, my belief is untrue.

Is it that I’m over-qualified? Under-qualified? In that middle area where one is over-qualified for most jobs but under-qualified for the rest? If so, ugh. I don’t want to go to graduate school just to get into the next ring of applicants. I will if required, but it doesn’t seem necessary. Experience should trump that most times.

At bottom, I guess I haven’t made as strong a case for myself as I should.

 

On another note, Misty returns from her interview in Seattle this evening. I’m really proud of her. We should know something early next week. Fingers crossed. This job will get us to Seattle, which will, hopefully, make it easier for me to find a job there.

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