September 29, 1999

She said that I’m not the one that she thinks about
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, don’t let your future be destroyed by my past.
She said, “don’t let my door hit your ass.”

September 29, 1999
Today’s been a good day. Slept till eleven thirty this morning – something I haven’t done in a long time. Got up and ran a bunch of errands. Finally got around to doing a lot of things I’d been meaninglessly putting off: mailing Jackie her rings and the marriage license so she can get the annullment; filing my DD 214s (separation paperwork from the Air Force) at the courthouse. Took my mom’s crutches back to Walgreen’s (she hurt her foot at Zilker Park last Saturday), bought bread and Ziploc bags at HEB. I’d put it in a Ziploc bag…

What’s up with the weather lately? Too damn beautiful. I have all the windows open in the house right now as I type. This is the time of year when I’m reminded why I live in Texas.

Have to remember to go down to UT tomorrow to get housing and financial aid applications.

Last night I got drunk and wrote an essay sort of thing. I’ve actually gotten really good feedback on it. Who knew? I’ve put it on the web here.

I really have to laugh at these people who are always looking forward to things. Like, “Man, I can’t wait to get into college – it’ll be great!” Or “Man, when I move out…” It’s all bullshit. Don’t you know this is as good as it gets? In the Air Force I was always looking forward to things. “Man, it’ll be better once I’m out of basic.” Then, “Man, it’ll be better once I’m out of tech. school.” That’s why I got out. I couldn’t handle always looking forward and hoping things would be better only to be disappointed. Shit. What was I going to say once I was in the operational Air Force? “Man, it’ll be better once my enlistment’s up and I’m a civilian again.” Fuck that. Might as well get out now. Which is what I did. I’m not saying to settle for what’s happening in your life right now. Hell no. Work for what you want, but don’t believe life is suddenly going to be justified and you rewarded for nothing in the future. It doesn’t happen. You have to love what’s happening right here and now.

I fucking hated the Air Force, but let me tell you, every opportunity I had I took advantage of what the Air Force had given me. Mainly, new friends. I enjoyed every minute I had to spend hanging out with them. I really miss them now, too. You have to find the good in what you have before you’ll be able to improve in the future. Trust me on this one. I may be a little drunk, but I’m not completely fucking stupid. Okay, maybe I am, but trust me anyway.

That’s really all I have to say this time around. Maybe I’ll get around to thinking up something better next time.

Wouldn’t it really be cool if the world ended on January 1, 2000? Then people my age would never have to prove themselves. We could just be like, “Oh, well, fuck, the world ended. I never got a chance to show you what I’m made of. Damn.”

So all you little ladies
Be sure to choose the right guys

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