insert THE END here

You’ve made me acknowledge the devil in me
I hope to God I’m talkin’ metaphorically

Other Stuff

October 24, 1998
Well, I thought I had a lot to say… see, that’s how it works. All day when I’m in school I can think of all kinds of things I want to be sure to write about, but when I’m actually sitting here in front of the computer nothing flows. You know what I mean. I know you do.

Dead Poets’ Society was on USA today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that entire movie. It was a fitting film for me to see today. The consequences of chasing your dream. If death is the consequence for that… I wonder what the consequences for not knowing what your dream are.

So I think we may go to the drive-in up in Gatesville tonight and see the movie Antz I don’t know. The ‘rents are at the commissary right now.

Wow. I have absolutely nothing to say. This sucks ass. I know I had more to say last night. Lets see… yesterday. Went to school. Went to the Navy recruiter’s office and signed a form so he can pull my ASVAB scores next week. I don’t really plan to enlist, I just want to know how I did on the test and see what jobs I’d be eligible for in the service. See… here’s the thing. Enlisting in the military seems like a good move for a few reasons. (1) I get money for college. If you enlist in Texas and then after you’re time is up in the military you decide to come back to Texas to go to college, the state will pay for all your college. And then I’d still have money left over from the GI Bill (or whatever they call it now) that I could use for graduate study. Not to mention I’d be able to go to school while I’m in the military. (2) I get to travel. Especially in the Navy because I’d be on a boat that pulls into Liberty Ports all the time. And even in the Air Force I’d probably go into AFRTS (Armed Forces Radio and Television Service) which would pretty much guarantee me a job overseas producing TV or radio shows in parts of the world where everything else is in another language. Okinawa here I come. Or Korea. Who knows. There’s a lot of world out there. (3) Experience. Job experience in television or radio production would rock since that’s one of the fields I’m looking at going into anyway. (4) Duty to country. I’ve always felt that it’s my duty to give my time to my country. I mean, I really love our country. Most people don’t. And that’s fine, too, I guess, but I’m not one of those people. This isn’t one of the biggest reasons I want to enlist, though.

And then there’s the reasons not to enlist. (1) It just seems that working my way through college is probably one of the biggest challenges of my life and by going into the military I’d just be backing down and taking the easy way out. (2) I want to actually live somewhere and plant roots. By going in the military I’d be shipped off next year and won’t have time to really plant any permanent roots anywhere.

It’s a big deal. To me, anyway. My parents aren’t well off. They’ve both devoted their lives to public service. A school teacher and a State employee. It just seems that by enlisting, I’d have to give up four years of my life, but I’d be better for it when I got out. I’d have experience, I wouldn’t have to pay for college or worry about paying on student loans for ten years after graduation and I’d have gotten a chance to see more of the world. What do you guys think? Advice, please.

Now just like in a song from days of yore
Here you come a knockin’, knockin’ at my door

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