September 11, 1998

The white Homie G has won.  “Ya like apples?”  Yeah.  “I got her numba.  How ya like dem apples?”  Yeah, he and Eugenia, the Ukrainian exchange student, traded numbers today.  Of course, he had to be cool and give her his pager number, too.  Don’t you know?  All Americans have pagers.  We’re all self-important, self-centered, poseurs.  It’s not the fact that he’s closer to her than myself.  No, it’s the fact that, as Ash said, he represents everything that’s wrong with the world.  I know what he wants from her.  He wants to get in her pants.  I want to get to know her better.  I don’t agree with premarital sex.  Not that I’m going to judge anyone who disagrees with me.  It’s every individual’s personal choice.  My choice is to save that part of myself for the one person I truly love – whoever that may be.  I would just like to get to know Eugenia better.  Talk to her, spend time with her, show her my country.  It’s my fault that I’m not closer to her, though.  I know it’s my fault.  It’s my fault that I am unable to throw out meaningless, silly question after silly, meaningless question to keep her amused.  It’s my fault that when I’m around a girl I really like I freeze up and get really serious, suddenly losing probably my most attractive feature – my humor.  (If anyone disagrees… well, you disagree, and you’re probably right.)  Anyway, that’s where that stands for now.  I wasn’t crushing on her anymore anyway; it’s just the point that she’d even consider talking to this guy.  I often make the mistake of considering exchange students more cultured than most other American high school students.  As the exchange student from Spain in my fourth hour class said, most people in Spain think Americans are stupid and without culture, but she knows differently because she’s seen me reading Chekhov (my favorite writer currently) and other books.  Whenever I really like someone or first meet them, I often make the comparable mistake of thinking that they are on a level above myself.  That they are better than me.  I’m guessing that I’m expecting too much from people.  I am continuously disappointed.  So, you know what?  “Fuck all this.”

The Starr Report has been made public.  I’m currently reading it.  As of the posting of this, I am in the Narrative portion at Section VIII. June-October 1997: Continuing Meetings and Calls, E. July 16 Meeting with Marsha Scott.  So far, I’m reading this thing straight through.  It’s like a good book, really.  Don’t you wish you were like me?  Easily amused.  

I’ve found, what seem to me as, inconsistencies.  I believe these inconsistencies are important in that if Ms. Lewinsky lies about one thing, there is probable cause to believe that most of her testimony, which was used extensively in the writing of the Report and which the Report is based mostly upon, could be false also.  See for yourself.  The following is not suitable for children.  

The following quotations come from:  The Starr Report.

“Ms. Lewinsky testified that her physical relationship with the President included oral sex but not sexual intercourse.(38) According to Ms. Lewinsky, she performed oral sex on the President; he never performed oral sex on her.(39) Initially, according to Ms. Lewinsky, the President would not let her perform oral sex to completion. In Ms. Lewinsky’s understanding, his refusal was related to “trust and not knowing me well enough.”(40) During their last two sexual encounters, both in 1997, he did ejaculate.(41)”

According to Ms. Lewinsky, she performed oral sex on the President on nine occasions. On all nine of those occasions, the President fondled and kissed her bare breasts. He touched her genitals, both through her underwear and directly, bringing her to orgasm on two occasions. On one occasion, the President inserted a cigar into her vagina. On another occasion, she and the President had brief genital-to-genital contact.(42)”

Later, Ms. Lewinsky says:

“During their sexual encounters, Ms. Lewinsky testified, “[W]e were both aware of the volume and sometimes . . . I bit my hand — so that I wouldn’t make any noise.”(118) On one occasion, according to Ms. Lewinsky, the President put his hand over her mouth during a sexual encounter to keep her quiet.(119) Concerned that they might be interrupted abruptly, according to Ms. Lewinsky, the two of them never fully undressed.(120)”

Now, if most of their encounters entailed only Ms. Lewinsky performing oral sex on President Clinton, how much noise can she really make?  Enough to have to bite her hand?  And, how could she bite on her hand while at the same time performing the sexual act?  I don’t have personal knowledge of this type of activity, so I trust someone will explain this to me.  

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